Healing

Healing is a matter of time, but it is also a matter of opportunity. - Hippocrates

A friend told me recently that I need to take time to heal from some difficult times I had experienced. The advice was valued for the nonjudgemental care it conveyed, and for its obvious wisdom. Yet, how does that repair of the heart or spirit actually happen? Is it just the passing of time that fixes the pain, or are there other forces at work that will smooth the rough edges and right the off-balance that threatens my peace? How do I even begin to answer these kinds of questions? Take a walk, of course. At my beloved beach.

The area I live in was devastated about five years ago by a massive hurricane. The shoreline was almost unrecognizable, scarred and compromised in a way that deeply hurt not just the beach, but those of us who call it home. The landscape and the locals alike felt the injuries. Once the shock was over and the triage to clean up the worst of it took place, and then the resignation that things would be much different going forward, the idea of healing then became a conscious, collective thought.

Yes, time was part of the equation, but healing wasn't going to happen by the injured being observers, silent and patient as the shoreline magically repaired itself and the people felt better about their favorite place being destroyed. It happened because people leaned on each other, and shared their grief and their joy. It happened because the earth knows how to repair itself and adapt to whatever Mother Nature offers it. It happened because dune grass was replanted. It happened because what was rebuilt was done so with the memory of the mistakes and the lessons that were learned about what is feasible and practical to build at the edge of the sea. It happened because the healers were also the wounded, and they loved themselves and their home so much that everything they did from that moment on was part of the healing, whether they knew it or not.

So, that's the piece I think I am trying to get at. We don't really know what is going to make the hurt better, we just understand that it WILL get better. Some things are obvious, like redirecting our energy into endeavors that feed our passions, or nurturing friendships and relationships that remind us we are loved and part of something bigger. Often it is reflective time alone, a physical challenge, or getting really drunk with an old friend. Probably, it is all of the above, and the realization that there is no exact recipe, no forcing it or timing it, and that it is different for every person, every beach, and every situation that caused the original pain.

But just like a physical wound that hurt so much when you first put the bandage on, curling up the edge of the bandage to check to see if it is all better has no effect on whether or not it is healed. It is healing. You don't need to do anything more. It will take care of itself, because you are human and your body just knows what to do. It isn't important to declare that "today, it is healed!" There is no past tense of the word "heal", we are always "healing." I don't have to start now because I have been healing all along.

My beautiful beach is doing great today. I would like to think that stretch of sand and I are evolving together and I know, without question, that we will both suffer more storms in the future. I am OK with that. It's all part of the adventure.